God has really had my back lately. Never have I lost hope in him or what he can do for me, but there have been times where I almost did. As a teenager, I am very stubborn and dislike when things don’t go my way. I have a mindset that things are always suppose to be butterflies and rainbows. I sometimes forget that it’s normal to have rainy day. It’s good for the crops and it’s good for your soul. Let it rain, wether it’s in the sky or your eyes. Let your emotions take over every now and then, obviously nothing that can harm you, but cry. Take a fresh breath of air, eat chocolate and cry. It’s good for you, I promise.
I DROVE ON THE FREWAY ALONE AND I DIDN’T GET ANXIETY. I WAS FROM IT. I DIDN’T GET DIZZY, WHICH IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST SYMPTOMS WHEN I AM DRIVING AND AM NEAR AN ANXIETY ATTACK. YUP, I DID IT. Okay, let me explain. So on Monday, I had a photoshoot out in Yolo., specifically Metzger’s Zinnia Patch. I normally have my boyfriend come with me to my photoshoots but that day he was working, so I knew I had to do it alone. I kept telling myself that the worst has already happened to me and that was having to come home during college. Nothing will ever be able to compare to that. I put on some music, jammed out and before I knew it I was on the freeway. I did that. Obviously, if you’ve been to the flower field, you know it’s less than a 15 minute drive, but I did it. If you read some of my older blog posts you’d know that I was unable to go to the grocery store without having an anxiety attack. God, thank you so much for this small milestone.
Here are some pictures that I took:
Another thing that I want to share with y’all is, my brother left to Santa Barbara with my sister for the week. On Monday I had a minor anxiety attack because I was going to be home alone. I got out of bed at around 9ish and I was okay but still over the edge. I felt a little stressed out because of my anxiety attack and how I was going to have to drive on the freeway to the photoshoot. At around 10am, my mother came home. Apparently, something happened at work and everyone got sent home. That’s not all of it. She doesn’t have work all week due to this incident. God, is really on my side. I think this is a sign and I am not exactly sure what the sign is. A part of me feels like he is trying to tell me that this is the medication for me. To put a little more faith and positivity into my medicine and to stop doubting it. It’s like he made it so my mom would be here during the week where my medication is beginning to take effect. I could just be crazy and it could just be that my mom was just sent home early. But a little faith never hurt anybody.
With the new medication I am on, I feel really good. I want to come off of it by the end of the year, though. Until then, I am going to fight everyday until I am able to live a day with no anxiety medication again. I know I can do this. I saw a post the other day on Facebook, “If God brings you to it he will get you through it.” This quote accurately represents what he is doing for me. Getting me through it. Although, I still have a lot of questions as to why he chose me to go through everything that I am going through, I will accept the plans he has for me.
I released new shirt designs today!! Check them out on my instagram: @LatinaShadows! I love how my model, boyfriends sister, came out in these photos. The camera loves her. Here are just a few pictures that I took of my new tops!
Anyways I hope you are all having a magnificent week and thank God it’s Friday tomorrow. Remember that if you had a bad day, that’s all it is… a bad day. Don’t let that define your future.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
– Corinthians 10:13