Westlake Apartments

Back in July to August of 2016, I got screwed over by one of my friends (stay tuned for that blog entry) and was obligated to look for roommates/housemates on Facebook. By obligated I mean, if I wanted to attend San Francisco State University I was going to have to look for a place to stay. I didn’t get a dorm so I had to find an apartment.

I eventually found one with a girl name Laura and her boyfriend. It took awhile to find that 4th roommate but we did it. I paid $793/ month to share a bedroom with a stranger.

I lived in Daly City in the Westlake apartments, which are located in front of the shopping plaza. The apartment I lived in was a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom. In the first bedroom it was my female roommate, Aileen, and I and in the other other bedroom it was a female, Laura, and her boyfriend, whose name I believe was Jose. Aileen and I both had our individual beds, obviously, and Laura and Jose shared a bed. To most people, common sense would be to give the people with two beds the bigger bedroom right? Well not to them. I discovered that there bedroom was bigger than mine when I was helping Jose surprise Laura he gave me permission to enter their room. This was when I realized that she was very inconsiderate and not a nice person. She was in a sorority which I took a part in but they all ended up being a hot mess, also look out for this blog entry.

The first couple of weeks of living here I adapted rather quickly to everyones schedule and learned to stay out of everyones way.  The whole time that I lived there I learned to stay out of the kitchen from 6-8pm to avoid small talk. It wasn’t that I didn’t like them and didn’t want to talk to Laura or Jose but I got a weird vibe from them every time I ran into the in the house. I had a feeling that they didn’t like me so I tried to keep our conversations to the very minimum.

As for my roommate, it took her a couple of weeks before she took over the whole bedroom. When you walked into the bedroom my bed was directly in front of the door IMG_1296and Aileen’s bed was diagonally to the right from the door, in front of the closet door. In that room I only had my bed and one of those small white cubes from Target. Where as she had her bed, a bigger white cube, a mirror, her laundry basket and a huge drawer vanity like dresser that took up most of the room. I didn’t feel at home at all.

In October we began to get a very bad and problem that was getting all over over food in the kitchenScreen Shot 2017-04-12 at 6.51.01 PM. It was disgusting and I was the only one that killed them. By November they were in the bathroom and the bedrooms. Once we hit December a rat managed to infest our apartment. I come from a Mexican family that taught me to make sure my house is clean before I go out. The dishes had to be washed and my bedroom had to be clean. And that even though you can’t see the dirt on the floor, the table, or the couch, it’s there. I cleaned that apartment so mu50300220039__A8C6954A-F838-4CD9-8343-D60DAF9D8992ch. I don’t even think Aileen ever laid a finger on the broom. The ants really bothered me and it also got me furious how nobody did anything about it. Bugs don’t belong in your food. If you sent anything in the counter within a matter of seconds there would be ants all over it. I’m not sure why there were so many ants but when your roommate would leave the dishes to pile up for days, leave her food to rot, and never wipe the counters… it answered itself. It really stressed me out to know that nobody iimg_2730.pngnIMG_2731 the apartment besides me was trying to get it to be clean. I don’t like bugs in my food. This one time I made pasta and it lasted one day. Within one day there were ants all over the spoons and in the pot. This is when I began to stop eating because my food would always be covered in ants.

My roommate, Aileen, constantly let her boyfriend49835359899__6CD85A93-15C6-4649-9EFD-92D0621E55DC sleep in my bed whenever I would go back home for the weekend. How did I know? Well she would always text me, “when are you coming back,” which at first I thought she would text me because I thought she was my friend and wanted to hangout. Second, I would come back to find things on my bed that belonged to him. Third, she would make my bed in a way that I would never do. Fourth, she once told me the following words while on a hike, “whenever my 50646821472__3852D84E-E823-434F-8173-790C267C40CFboyfriend spends the night he can’t sleep on the same bed as me because I snore– so he sleeps in another room”. The first time it was an ear plug, didn’t think much of it. Second time, I found his watch under the covers and when I texted her she told me that he had sat on my bed. Which I wasn’t okay with because she would tell me how she didn’t like it when strangers sat on her bed, yet her boyfriend slept in mine? Third time, was another set of earplugs that where in my pillow case. After my anxiety issue at the fire house, I stayed back home with my parents for 2 weeks and she took complete advantage of that. She disrespected my things and she didn’t even care that while I was back at the hospital she was letting her disgusting boyfriend sleep in my bed. When I finally came back to the apartment, all of my things were on the floor, there were food crumbs on my bed, a random pillow, dirty ear plugs and a weird smell. I was in disgust. I had brought a tv into our bedroom because I thought we could use it for movie nights, but she had a different plan for it. Sex nights with her boyfriend. I’m not going to slut shame her so i’m not going to discuss her sexual activity that was done in that apartment.

My food. I worked 16 hours a week for $13.25 an hour. Food is expensive in San Francisco. Everyone who lives with roommates experiences having their food being eaten. I remember I would buy a dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme for around $10. I don’t eat a heavy breakfast nor do I like to drink coffee in the morning, so I liked to always have a donut in my car for after my classes. I would offer Aileen a donut, but she would take that as an invitation to not only eat the whole box but to offer it to her boyfriend. They were my donuts. Also, during the two holidays that I was there, Halloween and Christmas I liked to buy treats to use as decorations. I would buy a jar and out candies in them, because I am a very festive person. Within a day, Aileen’s boyfriend would just eat them all. Why? I want to know why there parents didn’t teach them a thing or two about respect what isn’t theres.

There was also this one time during Halloween where Aileen, Laura, and I carved pumpkins. It was probably one of the only times where I had hope and was willing to forgive them for being disgusting. Within a couple of days our pumpkins began to rot and attract bugs so Laura and I threw ours away. Aileen didn’t throw hers away until late November. At that point her orange pumpkin was black and had bugs crawling out of it. Laura and I had a small inside joke about this incident. It really just makes me question how people can’t be clean. It isn’t hard. I don’t even expect them to clean the house on a daily, but if they could at least try to be tidy it would’ve helped my situation.

I ordered some packages to the apartment and I have yet to get a text from any of them telling me that they have arrived. I received an e-mail saying that they have been delivered. It is more than one packages. As a matter of fact, I believe it’s 6-7 packages. Here is the link that says that it is illegal to open someone else’s mail: click here. You are committing a crime. But Aileen, I guess you are used to crime, since you allow your boyfriend to drink and drive. The day you asked me to go to a club with you and that your boyfriend and you were going to pregame and then drive to the event, you were basically asking me to risk my life. Inconsiderate. You’re old, Aileen, learn to mature. Grow up.

I’m not a confrontational person and try to avoid problems the most that I can so I never confronted any of them. I was in a new city, at a new school, potentially starting my new life. I didn’t want problems and I know that by posting this I risk them seeing it, but I want them to know that they weren’t good roommates/housemates. Laura, you cleaned but you did it in such a nasty way, no te enseno tu madre? Aileen, your like what? 23? And you can’t grab the Swifter and clean up? Jose, you were a good person so I have nothing to say to you. You always tried to make small talk but I’m socially awkward so I guess i’ll apologize for not being able to hold a conversation. Perdon.

Nonetheless, this post was a form of letting this out. I have held this anger for a while now and its time to forgive and forget. It is now in my past and I will be deleting them out of my life. The past is behind me and it’s time to take a step forward.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

– Colossians 3:13

Don’t Ask Me About College

Due to all of my health issues that I am going through I made a very difficult decision that I don’t think I thought throughly. I made a choice that haunts me at night, because I crave education and it’s a part of my life. I decided to withdraw from San Francisco State University, because my health did not permit me to be far away from my parents. I was afraid of something happening to me like the day at the gas station that I am living in fear. My fear and weakness have made me take a choice that killed me. I am currently finishing my online classes and one of my normal classes online. I was obligated to drop my other two courses and get a “W” on my transcript. I am now in a situation where I have to give back all of my financial aid because I am not enrolled in 12 or more unites (a full time student). I now spend every minute of my days locked away in my bedroom or in my house because I am afraid of what my anxiety is capable of. I am living in fear and it’s something that isn’t me. This is not Irma Hernandez. There is a monster living inside of me controlling my brain. So please, next time you ask me about college and I say “fine”, either walk away or change the subject. Don’t ask me about the weather in San Francisco or what I do on my spare time between my classes, because I don’t have an answer for you. Better yet, I don’t want to give you an answer.

I am embarrassed that I spent all of my high school career taking advanced classes, doing 4 sports, participating in so many clubs, and doing 200 extra hours of community service hours just so that I could drop out of college. I am embarrassed because I love learning. I am fascinated with math, writing, ethnic studies and all those other classes that I never heard about. I love school. I was born to learn. And I blew it, because my anxiety has me living in fear.

Don’t get me wrong, I will be transferring to my local community college for semester and then transferring to the csu thats 30 minutes away from my home, but I still feel like a failure. I am still very embarrassed about having to withdraw.

So once again, don’t ask me about college. I know you mean no harm when doing so , if anything you are just checking up on me, but don’t. I feel like I let everyone down and it absolutely scares me. So please, don’t do it.

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

On My Own: Day 1

I just want to cry. I’m holding in tears, because I’m trying to be strong for my mother. I’m not okay and I just want to go home. I’m alone.

I always hear about everyones awesome college experience but I know that I won’t have one. I don’t drink nor do I smoke, it has never been my thing and it’s something that I’m not interested in doing… ever. I live in Daly City, which is 4-6 minutes away from campus, which also means I have to drive to school everyday. Since the school wants to welcome all students they are having Welcome Days, and I’m trying to make friends so i’ve been driving to school to see if I can meet anyone. I hate it. I drove right past the school twice. I hate it so much.

I called an old friend up that happens to be staying at the dorms on campus and I took her and her roommate to the mall, just so I could get the heck out of my apartment, because I found myself getting crazy. I felt so left out the entire time, so I’m most likely not going to do that. To top it all off, my “friend” ended up posting on her snapchat story that she had just gone shopping with her roommate, completely cutting me off… as if I didn’t provide transportation or helped her choose clothes off.

I’ve never been the type of person to try so hard about having friends, because I feel like I do perfectly fine alone, but I’m miles away from home and I need someone to be able to trust and rely on. I need a friend, and I’m so scared. I’m losing my mind.

I haven’t ate and i’m not hungry. I’m locked up in my room with the lights off. Please help me.