Dear... · writing

Dear Lissett

Your birthday was yesterday and I strictly refused to congratulate you on your 19th birthday. For my birthday you snap chatted me at like 11:55pm, 5 minutes before my birthday ended and you sent a photo that said “Happy Birthday.” You couldn’t even write “Happy Birthday” with your own words.

Nonetheless, I really do hope that you had an amazing birthday. I saw that you had a little get together and I hope it was fun. And that the wish on the candle you blew out comes true. Theres nothing more than happiness that I am wishing for you. As an old friend I want to see you succeed and be the person that you wish to be. I’ve really seen you grow as a person and I madly respect you for that. There are many character traits that you obtain that I wish I could have. As a runner, I looked up to your strength and your energy. You were (hopefully you still are) such a happy girl. Always smiling and even when you weren’t you still were. You have this magic in you to make any negative situation into a positive one.

To be honest with you, when I imagined getting married I pictured you being one of my bridesmaids. You were that one friend that I always wished I had. You are so nice and so comforting to be around. I’ve always wanted a friend that I can hug and cry in front of about the smallest things and you were exactly that friend. It really does suck to have to say that we are no longer friends. We have both moved on and have gone our ways, but once again, I wish nothing but the best for you.

That whole saying about how high school friends won’t be your friends after high school is bullshit. I hate how people think that if you still hang out with your high school friends you are a low life. I hate it. I guess you can call it a stereotype, but I don’t know the right word for it. I bring this up because I don’t know if you applied to this me. When I found out that my health was really bad, you were the first one I texted. I didn’t even tell my mom or my boyfriend, I texted you. I reached out and I got nothing in response. I didn’t let that define our friendships because we both know my phone doesn’t really work. I gave you a second shot and assumed my phone just wasn’t getting texts. The thing is that you never reached out. Never. I understand that this isn’t high school and that you aren’t obligated to “watch over me”, but I really did look at you as more than a friend. I know we fought and we had our differences, but my sister and I have those all the time. I waited for a “lets go get…” text for a while. I sound like a crazy girlfriend, but I am still really hurt that you never reached out.

I was never really the best of friends to you. High school was a really difficult time for me. There was so much change occurring all at once and I didn’t carry trust when it came to friendships. A specific friend that I hung out with a lot took that from every friend that I will ever encounter in my life. I apologize if you ever felt attacked by me, but I felt the need to protect myself at all causes. There were also times were I felt like I had to choose sides between you and her. This girl strongly disliked you and every time I was around her she just wanted to talk about you. Overtime I realized that maybe her hate was reasonable, which made me take a few steps back from our friendship. I was wrong, because you are such an amazing friend, which I eventually realized.

I still remember our first conversation. I was walking to class in 8th grade and you came up to me. That’s something I love about you, you love meeting people. You had your purple backpack and you told me “Your dating Danny huh?” And he had just broken up with me for being fat, and you asked me if I wanted you to kick his ass. You didn’t even know me but you had my back. You obviously didn’t hurt him, but your words were comforting. Your presence has always been nothing but that. I loved playing sports with you and constantly complaining about school work.

You knew more than just my drama, and the homework assignments I didn’t understand. You knew about my depression and my anxiety. You never once judged me nor made me feel indifferent about it in situations. I remember this one time I was having a panic attack at our powderpuff game and you stayed by my side. You ignored the game and you focused on calming me down. I love you for that, and I hope God can repay you for that. There are so many other situations were you always offered your shoulder to cry on, your ritz to eat, your homework to copy, your car to give me rides, and your friendship.

Regardless of this, I am still here. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a ride, a roof, food, advice, anything I am here. I’ve been trying to keep up with you through social media outlets, because although we no longer talk, I still care about you. You were a really good friend who I wish nothing but the best for. I hope college is going well and that you are falling in love with your major. I saw your snapchats of you in Paris, and really just wanted to comment on them. I wanted to talk to you. But I will keep my distance and keep rooting for you. I am not on your bad side. Keep doing great things and happy late birthday Lissett.

You will forever be my twin, love you Liss.

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One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

– Proverbs 18:24

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