One of the jobs that I held in San Francisco was a teachers aide for a company. The company had many school sites and the one that I worked at was next to Golden Gate Park. I worked Monday-Friday from 2pm to 6:15pm, but it took me half an hour to get there so I left my apartment at 1pm. The road I took to get to work was always under construction and there was always so much traffic. It was insane. Plus most people in San Francisco do not know how to drive. As well as the fact that this school had no parking lot so it took me up to 45 minutes to find parking. I would park at the top of this hill next to Buena Vista Park. That hill kicked my butt every day after work. This is just a small background detail that I thought you should know and you can get an idea of how stressed out I got before work.
In every class there is that one kid who acts out and tries to be the class clown. I get it, you’re trying to fit in and you’re in the 4th grade so you don’t know any better. I get it. I used to be in your shoes and sometimes making your friends laugh was the better choice than obeying your teachers.
The way that this was arranged was every teacher got a teachers aide and they all got 25 students within the same grade. The teacher that I assisted ended up quitting so there was never an actual teacher. In other words there were always substitutes. No teachers aide was aloud to be left alone with their students because they don’t have the credentials to do so.
There was this boy. His name was Charles and he was the only Caucasian boy in that class. I worked at a school that was mainly Chinese. There was also this caucasian girl who was bullied by everyone. Her name was Ashton and she was always doing her own thing. She wore a wolf hat and liked video games. Charles did everything in his power to make her life miserable while they were in the same room. No matter how hard teachers tried, it was his goal to make Ashton’s life a living hell.
I am 5’1 and 125 pounds so I can easily be knocked over. Most of the students are actually taller than me. I am not muscular and don’t like racing my voice either. Which I know that if you are going to work in a school you need to do so. I was fairly new so I didn’t want the kids to hate me so I liked to “keep it cool”. I was once in there shoes and I know the difference between joking around and being a bully. As someone who was bullied for being chubby, I can fairly identify when people are being rude.
This kid, Charles, was very sexual. When I say this Im not talking about an inappropriate 10 year old, i’m talking about the real thing. Working at an elementary school you get used to hearing these kids say “dirty” jokes and laugh at the work ‘butt’. You get immune to it and learn to steer away from certain words. But with Charles, it was always about humping, fucking, hitting, and feeling superior to other kids. We held monthly meetings to talk about how we can control his type of behavior.
This one day I was assigned a very irresponsible substitute teacher. This whole day I was left alone with the students. Which if you don’t remember, I stated earlier that this wasn’t aloud because I didn’t have the credits to do so. Charles is only there 3 days out of the week so that day just happened to be a Wednesday. The teacher had no idea what to do and was focusing on only one kid, who let me tell you never acted out. That day he was being very rude, but he was the most polite kid in the whole class. When it was play time we took them out to the yard 20 minutes early, in which the teacher felt the need to take this kid to the office and leave me alone. We went out to the yard earlier, therefore no other classes where out there, so I had no help. I should also say that within every teacher and teachers aide there is always a walkie talkie which the teacher always holds. In my case, the teacher left with the walkie talkie and left me to supervise 24 students. Most teachers would have had me take the student up to the office, but no not this guy. When he left I decided to sit on the bench because I was tired. I still had a perfect view of all the students, because most of them were either on the play structure or doing homework on the tables. One of the girls, Xophiee, came up to me and continued to teach me 1-10 in Mandarin. When out of the nowhere I hear Ashton screaming. I turn over and see her on one of the tables with her pants down and Charles on top of her. All of his friends are around him cheering him on and I run towards them. I kept asking myself, “what do I do?” I walk Ashton to the bench, because I am not aloud to carry students. I ask her what happened, because although I know what happened it’s protocol to get the students point of view. She tells me that Charles is mean and that her butt really hurts. I look over to Charles who is now dancing on top of the table. I walk over to him, leaving Ashton on the bench, and yell at him. He then comes very close to me and says, “what are you going to do, i’m taller than you”. Then shoves me.
I am 18 years old, don’t have my phone on me because it’s against the rules, I don’t have a walkie, and I am alone with 24 students. I wanted to take matters into my own hands but I also didn’t want to go to jail and I lived in San Francisco and needed the money. So I sent one of my students along with a buddy to go tell the on site coordinator that if I don’t get a teacher down on yard 5 in 10 minutes I will walk out those doors. It sounds harsh, but I was under a lot of stress. This kid was a potential threat to all the other students so I was very scared for my own well being as well.
I say this because in the meetings that we held with him we have talked about other incidents. This boy, 3rd grader, reported to his parents that Charles was getting a little to sexual with him. They aren’t a loud to be in the same room. If you are ever in a room with him and you have your back turned to him, he will do something inappropriate to you. I have also seen him grab other students by their waist and do a thrusting motion.
I know that if you have made it this far you are probably asking why he hasn’t been kicked out of this after school program or why authorities haven’t taken him. I don’t have an answer for you, but he does go to some type of therapy for this.
He has done other horrible things, but they don’t have to do with this topic so I will avoid including them for the sake of the length. This kid was horrible and it was never a good time when he was around. He was violent, impulsive, rude, and other things as well. With out a doubt, if this kid doesn’t get some real help and start changing for the better, he will end up in jail. I don’t know what kind of charges he was up against regarding Ashton, but if she was my daughter I would’ve made sure he paid.
I understand that to some people this might not be “my story to tell”, but it really is. I am a female who will one day have kids of her own. Besides that, I was there. I witnessed things within feet away. I’m 18 years old and it sucks how if a minor attacks someone over the age of 18 and it falls back on them. When you are personally in a situation like this, what do you do? When you can’t go and run to tell another teacher because that would mean leaving 23 students with this kid. I have avoided using the ‘r’ word throughout this whole blog entry, because I don’t know what is really going on with him. I don’t know if its because he witnesses this at home or if this actually happening to him at his home. I don’t know his full story, so I am telling you it from my point of view, making it my story to tell.
Let this be a lesson learned to any parents reading this to teach your kids to respect others and be nice. I understand they might not know better, but why not? At the end of the day the only person that falls back on is their guardians. Are you working to much and not paying attention to your kid? Are you letting your kids be around sexual predators? Are you constantly asking your kid if they are okay? Are you there for your kid? Do you spend time with them?
See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
– Matthew 18:10